Driftmoon Adventure RPG

Grim Reaper 19 years ago

It just occured to me...

When you said you lost your story by selecting it all and pressing Ctrl + V instead of C, then why didn't you just press Ctrl + Z?

# quote

AsdMaster 19 years ago

If not ctrl+c ctrl+f4 might work on some computers

# quote

burgerking 19 years ago

Ctrl C is what u (and Hermit does to) use to copy, fool!

# quote

ville 19 years ago

"HarmlessHermit" said:
There's always Notrium 2...

So are there going to be more games in the Notrium universe or is Zex's mod the only thing we're going to have? Be a little more loose-tongued ville!

Well, considering that Notrium has been immensely popular, I wouldn't say there will not be a Notrium 2.

# quote

burgerking 19 years ago

Having read a lot of ville's posts, I would say Notrium 2 is a cert!

# quote

gunica 19 years ago

This is one of the best stories i have ever read.

But i was wondering when you get done with this one are you going to make full stories for the Alien and the Psionic?

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

I definitely plan to make full-blown stories for both the Psionic and Alien. An Android story is not out of the question though.

Chapter 31: Delayed Finality

The marine's voice was deep and rough, instantly identifying him as the same marine who ran from Eden mere hours ago. "You have intruded in the territory of Ville Corp, killed countless numbers of our soldiers, and disrupted the everyday operations of our corporation. If you surrender yourselves and your ships to Ville Corp, we will treat your plight with sympathy."

Jozwiak looked at the wrecked flagship and then at his own fleet. He raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. Turning towards the captain, he said, "Well, you know their capabilities better than I do, so I relinquish command of the bridge to you, temporarily. She's all yours captain."
The captain gave the Admiral a quick salute and stepped up to the view-screen as commander of the Crego. When the marine saw the captain, he nearly fell over in shock.
"You! You don't what what you've gotten yourself into, captain. Ville Corp is much more powerful than you think. Meddling in our affairs can only mean trouble." The transmission cut off abruptly, leaving the captain standing there, wordless.

"Let's not take any chances. Power up our forward turrets and launch all fighters." the captain ordered. "Once they open fire, throw everything we've got at that ship."

Then everyone stopped, poised to carry out his/her job. It was a period of uncertainty, when neither side wanted to fire the first shot. Seconds that seemed like minutes became minutes that seemed like hours. A realization suddenly struck the captain.
The marines were stalling.

What other reason for this wait could there be? The marines were so confident in their abilities, yet hesitated to actually engage in combat.
"Admiral, tell the other ships to fire all weapons. Do it... now!"
Jozwiak went the order over the broadcast. The Crego shot its charged weapons at the flagship, whose shields flickered amidst the oncoming torrent of energy. The Poseidon and Havoc launched their missiles and fired balls of plasma. The heavy fire of the gunships Gamma-1, Gamma-2, and Gamma-3 dealt heavy damage to the flagship's shields. The Crego's fighters closed in and began peppering the shields with laser fire.

"Their shields are down, launch all torpedo tubes." the captain told the crew.
Ten slow-moving torpedoes exited their tubes and made their way to the flagship, which tried hopelessly to shoot down the incoming torpedoes. The heavy fighter squadron had already bombed out most of its sensor relays. The first torpedo blew off a sizeable chunk of the flagship's hull, exposing the sophisticated wiring that once powered the shields.

Just as the second torpedo exploded, the captain saw a blue flash of light from far away, and the explosion froze completely. The rest of the torpedoes slowed, and eventually halted, as if time itself had stopped. The captain looked in disbelief at the torpedoes. A slight ripple in space signified the arrival of objects into the system. At first, the objects forming out of thin air were bright white silhouettes, but then their color faded in. There were about five round ships drifting in the Crego's direction. One of the ships latched onto the marine flagship, and dematerialized out of the system.

The weaponry, structure, and shape of the ships couldn't be mistaken for anything else.
"I've seen these ships before," said the captain. Jozwiak wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. "So have I. These are the exact same ships that entered Sol, enslaved the human race, and destroyed the entire solar system. These are the ships I fought my first battle against, and lost to. Why would they show up here?"

To the captain, the very sight of these ships brought back memories that he wanted to stay buried in the back of his mind. But if he fought against these aliens again, it wouldn't be payback for all the pain they had caused him. This time he would do it because it was his duty to defend his friends and fellow humans. If Notrium, no, the Psionic, had taught him anything, it was that.

A message appeared on the viewscreen. Loud shrieks in an alien tongue resonated from the speakers. Strange hieroglyphs danced across the screen.
"Do we have a translation program compatible with their language?" asked the captain.
One of the ensigns inserted a chip into the communication console and the alien voices became a little more understandable."
"Again... meet... planet.... Gruushnik... death to you...." The message broke into static.
Jozwiak spoke over to the fleet comm. channel. "I didn't like that last sentence. Prepare all ships for a quick get-away. We don't have a chance against so many of them."

They're all concentrating their fire on the Poseidon!" shouted out a nervous cadet. Energy beams focused on the Poseidon and obliterated it completely in a matter of seconds.
"We have to jump." the captain said.
"She can't jump so close to gravity sources."
"Then turn and accelerate as fast as you can."
Again, all of the weapon fire was concentrated on one ship. This time, it was the Havoc.

A few of the remaining fighters attempted to destroy the nearest alien ship, but nothing they did could penetrate their shields. All of the guns pointed at the Crego, aiming the first and only shot they would need.

Something else caught the attention of the alien ships. They turned towards Notrium and let the weapon charges die out. Like a tidal wave of fire, an overwhelming number of missiles flew out of a spot on Notrium's surface and attacked the alien ships. The superior shields of the alien shields meant they could survive just about anything, but not endless volleys of missiles. One by one, their shields failed and they were engulfed in an enormous explosion.

"We're far away enough from the system center to jump, Admiral." reported one of the crew members.
"Do it before those missiles decide we're the next target."
The stars in space stretched out and even light from the sun began to bend and warp.
The planet Notrium was unaltered. The captain looked at its swirls of green clouds and the varied terrain of the planet. Despite having fought against Notrium for so long, it still brought a sad smile to the captain's face to look at it as it appeared when he was aboard the Var' Equinallin.

"But wait," quipped Admiral Jozwiak, "Wasn't the last defense installation disabled by Admiral Thorpe?"
The captain thought to himself for a while, and then replied, "Yes. Yes it was." I definitely plan to make full-blown stories for both the Psionic and Alien. An Android story is not out of the question though. [b]Chapter 31: Delayed Finality[/b] The marine's voice was deep and rough, instantly identifying him as the same marine who ran from Eden mere hours ago. "You have intruded in the territory of Ville Corp, killed countless numbers of our soldiers, and disrupted the everyday operations of our corporation. If you surrender yourselves and your ships to Ville Corp, we will treat your plight with sympathy." Jozwiak looked at the wrecked flagship and then at his own fleet. He raised an eyebrow in puzzlement. Turning towards the captain, he said, "Well, you know their capabilities better than I do, so I relinquish command of the bridge to you, temporarily. She's all yours captain." The captain gave the Admiral a quick salute and stepped up to the view-screen as commander of the Crego. When the marine saw the captain, he nearly fell over in shock. "You! You don't what what you've gotten yourself into, captain. Ville Corp is much more powerful than you think. Meddling in our affairs can only mean trouble." The transmission cut off abruptly, leaving the captain standing there, wordless. "Let's not take any chances. Power up our forward turrets and launch all fighters." the captain ordered. "Once they open fire, throw everything we've got at that ship." Then everyone stopped, poised to carry out his/her job. It was a period of uncertainty, when neither side wanted to fire the first shot. Seconds that seemed like minutes became minutes that seemed like hours. A realization suddenly struck the captain. The marines were stalling. What other reason for this wait could there be? The marines were so confident in their abilities, yet hesitated to actually engage in combat. "Admiral, tell the other ships to fire all weapons. Do it... now!" Jozwiak went the order over the broadcast. The Crego shot its charged weapons at the flagship, whose shields flickered amidst the oncoming torrent of energy. The Poseidon and Havoc launched their missiles and fired balls of plasma. The heavy fire of the gunships Gamma-1, Gamma-2, and Gamma-3 dealt heavy damage to the flagship's shields. The Crego's fighters closed in and began peppering the shields with laser fire. "Their shields are down, launch all torpedo tubes." the captain told the crew. Ten slow-moving torpedoes exited their tubes and made their way to the flagship, which tried hopelessly to shoot down the incoming torpedoes. The heavy fighter squadron had already bombed out most of its sensor relays. The first torpedo blew off a sizeable chunk of the flagship's hull, exposing the sophisticated wiring that once powered the shields. Just as the second torpedo exploded, the captain saw a blue flash of light from far away, and the explosion froze completely. The rest of the torpedoes slowed, and eventually halted, as if time itself had stopped. The captain looked in disbelief at the torpedoes. A slight ripple in space signified the arrival of objects into the system. At first, the objects forming out of thin air were bright white silhouettes, but then their color faded in. There were about five round ships drifting in the Crego's direction. One of the ships latched onto the marine flagship, and dematerialized out of the system. The weaponry, structure, and shape of the ships couldn't be mistaken for anything else. "I've seen these ships before," said the captain. Jozwiak wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead. "So have I. These are the exact same ships that entered Sol, enslaved the human race, and destroyed the entire solar system. These are the ships I fought my first battle against, and lost to. Why would they show up here?" To the captain, the very sight of these ships brought back memories that he wanted to stay buried in the back of his mind. But if he fought against these aliens again, it wouldn't be payback for all the pain they had caused him. This time he would do it because it was his duty to defend his friends and fellow humans. If Notrium, no, the Psionic, had taught him anything, it was that. A message appeared on the viewscreen. Loud shrieks in an alien tongue resonated from the speakers. Strange hieroglyphs danced across the screen. "Do we have a translation program compatible with their language?" asked the captain. One of the ensigns inserted a chip into the communication console and the alien voices became a little more understandable." "Again... meet... planet.... Gruushnik... death to you...." The message broke into static. Jozwiak spoke over to the fleet comm. channel. "I didn't like that last sentence. Prepare all ships for a quick get-away. We don't have a chance against so many of them." They're all concentrating their fire on the Poseidon!" shouted out a nervous cadet. Energy beams focused on the Poseidon and obliterated it completely in a matter of seconds. "We have to jump." the captain said. "She can't jump so close to gravity sources." "Then turn and accelerate as fast as you can." Again, all of the weapon fire was concentrated on one ship. This time, it was the Havoc. A few of the remaining fighters attempted to destroy the nearest alien ship, but nothing they did could penetrate their shields. All of the guns pointed at the Crego, aiming the first and only shot they would need. Something else caught the attention of the alien ships. They turned towards Notrium and let the weapon charges die out. Like a tidal wave of fire, an overwhelming number of missiles flew out of a spot on Notrium's surface and attacked the alien ships. The superior shields of the alien shields meant they could survive just about anything, but not endless volleys of missiles. One by one, their shields failed and they were engulfed in an enormous explosion. "We're far away enough from the system center to jump, Admiral." reported one of the crew members. "Do it before those missiles decide we're the next target." The stars in space stretched out and even light from the sun began to bend and warp. The planet Notrium was unaltered. The captain looked at its swirls of green clouds and the varied terrain of the planet. Despite having fought against Notrium for so long, it still brought a sad smile to the captain's face to look at it as it appeared when he was aboard the Var' Equinallin. "But wait," quipped Admiral Jozwiak, "Wasn't the last defense installation disabled by Admiral Thorpe?" The captain thought to himself for a while, and then replied, "Yes. Yes it was."

# quote

Fusion 19 years ago

Reminds me of the time me and 4 friends were launching an assault in the online game "Darkspace"

Keep it coming!

# quote

Myrmidon 19 years ago

this is the most awesome story i have ever read
I like how you described Eden and the whole swarm thing but I thought only the "plants" of Eden swarmed the altar

and the fight against the antigrav crawlers sounds like how i did it without the destroying of the antigrav devices part of course

i wonder if someone can mod Notrium to this plot and storyline

# quote

Anonymous1157 19 years ago

This is great! WOOHOO! WOOHOO! WOO! Woo... Woo... Hmm...

You have just enough material to send it to some publisher and make a book! Of course, there has to be one last chapter to explain what happens after they wonder why those missles launched...

Now I remember! I read that part half an hour ago and I forgot!

SPOILER, TOTAL SPOILER FOR NEXT CHAPTER
You remember a couple chapters back when he was talking to Ville? Well, Ville says he was caught in the act! Mr. Captain should remember that the second one was never destroyed and do something about it!

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

So this is the last chapter. I don't know why, but I can't do endings. It's really easy to start something, really exciting to weave the middle onto it, but the ending... Sheesh, I don't remember ever finishing something this big before.

As for an epilogue, this one doesnt really qualify as one. Due to the fact that there will most likely be a sequel after this story, I don't see a purpose in adding one. If I find that it may be confusing, then I'll slap one on there.

So what are you waiting for, read it!

Chapter 32: The Beginning-

The losses were terrible, and it refreshed the captain's memory on how powerful the alien race was. The sad thing was, there were hundreds, if not thousands more of ships just like that. Any person with sense could tell you that if their fleet decided you were an enemy, survival, let alone victory, wouldn't be easy.

The captain sighed, straightened out his black shirt, and stood straight. He never did like funeral services; they only made letting go of the dead even harder. The large amphitheatre on the Crego, usually used for important announcements, was changed into a graveyard. Among the hundreds of modestly decorated tombs, each symbolizing a dead crewman, there were a few other ones that immediately caught the captain's eye. One was of Admiral Thorpe, which had replicas of his medals draped over the stone. There was one for the Var Equinallin's medic. The captain didn't tell Bergman everything about the Psionic, partly because he wasn't sure if anyone would believe it.

One by one, the captain gently passed his hand over the stones, reading the names to himself. Finally, he stopped after the last one. There was a tombstone missing.
"Excuse me?" he motioned for an attendant to come. "I think you missed a crew member. Do you have records of the Var Equinallin's engineer?"
The busy-looking attendant walked over to the nearest computer, and searched through rows and rows of words and letters. The flow of data stopped, replaced by a black screen.
"I'm sorry. These tombs are for the dead crew members, not the equipment. If I'm not mistaken, the engineer was an android?"
"Yes."
"That explains it then. You'll find its report in the 'Missing Hardware' list. Sorry to leave you so suddenly, I've got to go get the podium ready."

She left the captain wondering why the engineer didn't deserve a spot right next to every other casualty. With an almost mocking tone, he said to himself, "Of course, he was just an android, a machine."

The captain caught Jozwiak's attention, who started making his way over to him. The Admiral's graying hair was combed over to the side, and his moustache might've been combed as well. The captain rubbed his hands over his own face, still getting used to the shave he just had a few hours ago.
"Captain," said Jozwiak "I heard that you were wondering about your engineer. I know I should've given it to you before, but here it is anyway."
He extended his hand and revealed a small, computer chip.
"One of our search parties found this in a dense jungle area on Notrium. It's a wonder how they ever saw it hidden beneath the trees, but we think it may have belonged to your android engineer. None of our computers can open it though."
The captain plucked the chip from Jozwiak's hand, and examined it. It had scratch marks on it, but was otherwise in perfect condition.
"Thanks. I think you're right. It looks like it belonged to him."
"You're welcome. Come join in the ending speeches if you can. Nothing would be more inspiring than for the captain of the Var' Equinallin to end the funeral on a high note. Just a few quick words will do."
The captain looked over to the empty podium, and the waiting eyes of the audience. Without a single word of reply, he turned and left the hall. Forget the speeches and inspiration. He just wanted to leave that dreary funeral.

Log of the (destroyed ship): Var' Equinallin's Captain:

"These past... what have they been, months? They seem more like lifetimes to me. I once went to the Hive to discover its secrets, but ended up knowing more about myself than I would ever imagine possible. Sometimes people don't like what they see, so they refuse to open their eyes. I've opened mine, and I can see the real me for the first time in my life. It may seem like I'm exaggerating, but that's really how it's been for me. I was a blind follower of the shadows of my foes, but now I see. I can see the balance of life and death in the universe, much like the one that existed on Notrium. I can see how I can make a difference in these constant struggles.

Everything has happened so quickly. It's almost unreal. Even so, I feel that at these very moments, my life has just begun. There will be more battles to be fought, so I turn my eyes to the future. The alien threat is still out there, endangering humanity every second it lives. I don't care for the money and fame anymore. I want to preserve whatever those aliens left behind the first time, because now, they won't find us such easy targets.

I'm thrown back into the deadly game of push and pull that is the job of a navy captain.
Once the Crego reaches New Berlin system for repairs, I’m immediately due for an assignment. The recent battles against pirates and aliens have left the United Confederacy shorthanded. To tell the truth, I’m anxious to get back to the front lines. All of the desperate men and women whom I fight alongside and the thought of home... are what will bring me through these difficult times.

Well, I'm going back to analyzing the sensor records we took of the alien ships. I've rarely seen so many of them up close, and this is a good time to get to know the enemy a little better. Their tech is better than ours, but, like ours, it's bound to have weak points."

The captain reclined on the soft synthetic leather sofa. The journal pad was still in his hand along with a computer holding diagrams of the alien ships. Contrary to what he said in the journal, he wasn't working, but sleeping. After all, his body just went through hell and back, the last nap he had was prematurely interrupted, and he had been working on the diagram analysis for hours.

There would be no grand exit, no thrilling intro to the adventures he would soon be cast into. There would only be the captain, a ship, and the stars to guide the way. Even though he slept, every fiber of his body and mind were tense with anticipation.

After all, this was only the beginning. So this is the last chapter. I don't know why, but I can't do endings. It's really easy to start something, really exciting to weave the middle onto it, but the ending... Sheesh, I don't remember ever finishing something this big before. As for an epilogue, this one doesnt really qualify as one. Due to the fact that there will most likely be a sequel after this story, I don't see a purpose in adding one. If I find that it may be confusing, then I'll slap one on there. So what are you waiting for, read it! :P [b]Chapter 32: The Beginning-[/b] The losses were terrible, and it refreshed the captain's memory on how powerful the alien race was. The sad thing was, there were hundreds, if not thousands more of ships just like that. Any person with sense could tell you that if their fleet decided you were an enemy, survival, let alone victory, wouldn't be easy. The captain sighed, straightened out his black shirt, and stood straight. He never did like funeral services; they only made letting go of the dead even harder. The large amphitheatre on the Crego, usually used for important announcements, was changed into a graveyard. Among the hundreds of modestly decorated tombs, each symbolizing a dead crewman, there were a few other ones that immediately caught the captain's eye. One was of Admiral Thorpe, which had replicas of his medals draped over the stone. There was one for the Var Equinallin's medic. The captain didn't tell Bergman everything about the Psionic, partly because he wasn't sure if anyone would believe it. One by one, the captain gently passed his hand over the stones, reading the names to himself. Finally, he stopped after the last one. There was a tombstone missing. "Excuse me?" he motioned for an attendant to come. "I think you missed a crew member. Do you have records of the Var Equinallin's engineer?" The busy-looking attendant walked over to the nearest computer, and searched through rows and rows of words and letters. The flow of data stopped, replaced by a black screen. "I'm sorry. These tombs are for the dead crew members, not the equipment. If I'm not mistaken, the engineer was an android?" "Yes." "That explains it then. You'll find its report in the 'Missing Hardware' list. Sorry to leave you so suddenly, I've got to go get the podium ready." She left the captain wondering why the engineer didn't deserve a spot right next to every other casualty. With an almost mocking tone, he said to himself, "Of course, he was just an android, a machine." The captain caught Jozwiak's attention, who started making his way over to him. The Admiral's graying hair was combed over to the side, and his moustache might've been combed as well. The captain rubbed his hands over his own face, still getting used to the shave he just had a few hours ago. "Captain," said Jozwiak "I heard that you were wondering about your engineer. I know I should've given it to you before, but here it is anyway." He extended his hand and revealed a small, computer chip. "One of our search parties found this in a dense jungle area on Notrium. It's a wonder how they ever saw it hidden beneath the trees, but we think it may have belonged to your android engineer. None of our computers can open it though." The captain plucked the chip from Jozwiak's hand, and examined it. It had scratch marks on it, but was otherwise in perfect condition. "Thanks. I think you're right. It looks like it belonged to him." "You're welcome. Come join in the ending speeches if you can. Nothing would be more inspiring than for the captain of the Var' Equinallin to end the funeral on a high note. Just a few quick words will do." The captain looked over to the empty podium, and the waiting eyes of the audience. Without a single word of reply, he turned and left the hall. Forget the speeches and inspiration. He just wanted to leave that dreary funeral. [b]Log of the (destroyed ship): Var' Equinallin's Captain:[/b] [i]"These past... what have they been, months? They seem more like lifetimes to me. I once went to the Hive to discover its secrets, but ended up knowing more about myself than I would ever imagine possible. Sometimes people don't like what they see, so they refuse to open their eyes. I've opened mine, and I can see the real me for the first time in my life. It may seem like I'm exaggerating, but that's really how it's been for me. I was a blind follower of the shadows of my foes, but now I see. I can see the balance of life and death in the universe, much like the one that existed on Notrium. I can see how I can make a difference in these constant struggles. Everything has happened so quickly. It's almost unreal. Even so, I feel that at these very moments, my life has just begun. There will be more battles to be fought, so I turn my eyes to the future. The alien threat is still out there, endangering humanity every second it lives. I don't care for the money and fame anymore. I want to preserve whatever those aliens left behind the first time, because now, they won't find us such easy targets. I'm thrown back into the deadly game of push and pull that is the job of a navy captain. Once the Crego reaches New Berlin system for repairs, I’m immediately due for an assignment. The recent battles against pirates and aliens have left the United Confederacy shorthanded. To tell the truth, I’m anxious to get back to the front lines. All of the desperate men and women whom I fight alongside and the thought of home... are what will bring me through these difficult times. Well, I'm going back to analyzing the sensor records we took of the alien ships. I've rarely seen so many of them up close, and this is a good time to get to know the enemy a little better. Their tech is better than ours, but, like ours, it's bound to have weak points."[/i] The captain reclined on the soft synthetic leather sofa. The journal pad was still in his hand along with a computer holding diagrams of the alien ships. Contrary to what he said in the journal, he wasn't working, but sleeping. After all, his body just went through hell and back, the last nap he had was prematurely interrupted, and he had been working on the diagram analysis for hours. There would be no grand exit, no thrilling intro to the adventures he would soon be cast into. There would only be the captain, a ship, and the stars to guide the way. Even though he slept, every fiber of his body and mind were tense with anticipation. After all, this was only the beginning.

# quote

Anonymous1157 19 years ago

Wow...

Wait a minute: If that's "just" the beginning, then that would mean there has to be an end, but a middle always comes between the middle and the end, so that means this is a trilogy with a beginning, midle, and end book, so then if this is the beginning, we can expect to get the middle and the end, but the middle comes first, no the beginning comes first and the middle is second, but you made the beginning so next the middle is first, and we'll problably expect it's start by the beginning or end of next month, and then same for the end except the month after! Yes, I understand now!

Summary: When the heck is the next book?

# quote

Grim Reaper 19 years ago

Could ya pleace put it all in one post now?

I be too lazy to dig through the thingamajic post-by-post, although not that lazy to dig through it chapter-by-chapter...

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

Sure.

But that phrase only referred to the beginning of the captain's life. It's figurative language, but you can interpret it however you like.

Okay.. done.
Still think their easy to search through chapter by chapter? 50 pages of text crammed onto one page is what we have there.

# quote

Anonymous1157 19 years ago

I know what figurative language is, I just missed the figurative point in that particular phrase... Actually, I missed that point in every book I read that had that in it!

ops: Well, is it still going to be a trilogy?

1. Gets stuck on the planet. Eventually escapes!
2. He's returned to mine all the resources and leave the planet a barren wasteland! The alien queens are released onto a planet whitch turned hospitable just a century ago.
3. 2000 years later, all goes planned, except for the planet core's instability and space pirates on the barren side! EEK!

No, that sounds like the story from the bad guy's view... Oh well, it'd PROBLABLY work...

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

I'm really just making this up as I go. There would be only one sequel for the captain but maybe another one that intertwines all of the main characters and stories. Making a strict trilogy type series isn't what I really had in mind.

# quote

Anonymous1157 19 years ago

I didn't say it had to be that way, i'm just saying it could be that way. But going back to the planet will obviously have to be SOMEWHERE, unless he lands on it's moon and finds something similar or something like that. Again, it dosen't have to be that way. But it could!

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

"Grim Reaper" said:
Could ya pleace put it all in one post now?

I be too lazy to dig through the thingamajic post-by-post, although not that lazy to dig through it chapter-by-chapter...

Final version is almost tidied up and finished. There will be handy links to each chapter at the top of the whole page so you won't need to even look at this thread anymore.

[Edit] Finished! I recently finished formatting the page and the changes to the story. It's currently 2 AM over here and I am exhausted but there's one more thing to do... mail it to Ville!

I will post the major rewrites and added parts tommorow so you don't have to reread the whole thing to find out. I recommend that you do reread it once it's up though. It's been many months since the first chapter and it's great to just see it as one final, complete story with a big title and everything.

# quote

ville 19 years ago

HTML formatted version can be found here: http://www.monkkonen.net/notrium/nsts.htm

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

Alright, I changed the dream in chapter 4 completely. I found out shortly after I wrote it that the captain was the same character from Wazzal, but I never got around to changing it until now.

Last chapter was made longer, might want to read that.

There are a few new bits in Chapter 1.

And lastly, the captain is now a big fan of whiskey.

# quote

Flex 19 years ago

Great story!

# quote

HarmlessHermit 19 years ago

Yay, the first person to follow the link at the bottom of the fanfic page and sign up! It's now officially considered an advertisement asset for the forum.

[Edit] Whoops. Flex isn't new. He just doesn't post very much.

# quote

odie 18 years ago

Eloz Hermit and ville,

I congratulate Hermit (U sure u r harmless? :shock

for such an exciting storyline alongside an excellent game.

I should call u Harmful Hermit from now. U made me so addicted to the game. lol

I played the original game, downloaded the Wreviar Mod and played em all. (I must say, it sure enhances the games HEAPS, esp the updated version!)

Man, i am awed by the fact that it is so good, let alone FREEWARE!

After i completed the game, I created an awefully powerful wpn juz to walk thru to see if i have missed out anithing......wow, alot of stuff that can literally make u the king of Notrium.

=========

Wat i really am looking forward to, is a sequel. Although in Notrium, we actually get to destroy those Turrets, queen aliens, even raid tat base which wreviar mod created, kill the cap of the ville corp flagship, raid the outpost, have reinforcement called in, or choose to escape using a pod, become one wif the planet, have unique endings wif the engineer and psonic......

Something's missing.........

1st.....the endings.......very 'plain' as compared wif the epic effect the story left me. I have so mani options of finishing the game, yet did not finish mani, juz accumulating and accumulating resources, get the idea?

2nd.....The intro of original notrium, we lack a proper intro, wif animations and stuff. Wreviar mod attempted to have manual insertion of pics and stuff. But i thnk for this to realli become like commercial standard, in terms of the intro and endings, we need a better ending and intro.

3rd.....werviar mod gave us a very good idea on expanding Notrium. In my opinion, i thnk we can expand the area alot more. Esp on creating maybe seaside like places, finding some islands on the planet, the ability to build up 'fortresses' or base, wif 'materials'. We could have an ending where we actually setup an earth base on notrium. hahaha, perhaps even have a sequel whereby u can capture aliens, research em, and etc.....get the idea?

Ok, i rarely post, enuf for this time.

Eloz Hermit and ville, I congratulate Hermit (U sure u r harmless? :shock:) for such an exciting storyline alongside an excellent game. I should call u Harmful Hermit from now. U made me so addicted to the game. lol I played the original game, downloaded the Wreviar Mod and played em all. (I must say, it sure enhances the games HEAPS, esp the updated version!) Man, i am awed by the fact that it is so good, let alone FREEWARE! After i completed the game, I created an awefully powerful wpn juz to walk thru to see if i have missed out anithing......wow, alot of stuff that can literally make u the king of Notrium. ========= Wat i really am looking forward to, is a sequel. Although in Notrium, we actually get to destroy those Turrets, queen aliens, even raid tat base which wreviar mod created, kill the cap of the ville corp flagship, raid the outpost, have reinforcement called in, or choose to escape using a pod, become one wif the planet, have unique endings wif the engineer and psonic...... Something's missing......... 1st.....the endings.......very 'plain' as compared wif the epic effect the story left me. I have so mani options of finishing the game, yet did not finish mani, juz accumulating and accumulating resources, get the idea? 2nd.....The intro of original notrium, we lack a proper intro, wif animations and stuff. Wreviar mod attempted to have manual insertion of pics and stuff. But i thnk for this to realli become like commercial standard, in terms of the intro and endings, we need a better ending and intro. :) 3rd.....werviar mod gave us a very good idea on expanding Notrium. In my opinion, i thnk we can expand the area alot more. Esp on creating maybe seaside like places, finding some islands on the planet, the ability to build up 'fortresses' or base, wif 'materials'. We could have an ending where we actually setup an earth base on notrium. hahaha, perhaps even have a sequel whereby u can capture aliens, research em, and etc.....get the idea? Ok, i rarely post, enuf for this time. :)

# quote

Redemption 18 years ago

There is almost a year between the last post and yours.

# quote

Grim Reaper 18 years ago

Indeed. What you have done could be considered "thread mining", which is generally frowned upon (although there are exceptions).

However, since this thread is known for it's awesomeness, I'll let it slide.

# quote

Quanrian 18 years ago

"Grim Reaper" said:
Indeed. What you have done could be considered "thread mining", which is generally frowned upon (although there are exceptions).

However, since this thread is known for it's awesomeness, I'll let it slide.

He's on topic, and personally I'd rather someone dig up an old thread and post there than create a new one. It's the lesser of two evils.

Notrium was built very light odie. Things like animations would of increased the file size greatly and it was already quite large for some people to download as it was. I agree the endings weren't as good as they could of been, but they rarely ever are in games if you ask me. The simple fact it's over is somewhat anti-climatic. You can, through modding change the game to suit your tastes, and that was the best part of Notrium overall.

The fanfiction by Hermit was quite interesting, and helped inflate a fairly vague storyline. This isn't the worst thread to comment in, as it had a very positive flare to it. I see that you've put your thoughts in some order as well and I'm sure we'll put what you say into consideration for our current project

.

# quote

odie 18 years ago

"Grim Reaper" said:
Indeed. What you have done could be considered "thread mining", which is generally frowned upon (although there are exceptions).

However, since this thread is known for it's awesomeness, I'll let it slide.

Ah, paiseh (Local dialect for embarassing)....never realli knew that this is thread mining.....Tot i saw this thread as some of the latest....

Was realli excited that someone's still talking at this forum at all.

Back to topic, so anione who is thnking of working on those?

# quote

Army_of_None 18 years ago

Wow. Never seen this before... I'll be reading it when I get a spare... day.

# quote

White Rabbit 18 years ago

Superb story. I just finished, and it was a great read. There is a lot of deviation from the actual Notrium storyline, but what you've written is coherent so all the new or changed things make perfect sense.

The whole story gives me the same feeling Notrium does...a kind of sad melancholy.

Notrium is one of the loneliest games I have ever played, especially if you're Human or Psionic. You're either just an insignificant character trying to survive and escape (I recall the Captain's last log entry in the game, where he said you would only find death on Notrium), or you're home but your fellow Psionics have turned into plants and you're still all alone.

# quote

muffinman 16 years ago

I remember reading this long time ago. Sigh, I feel old, help me.

# quote

Idiota 16 years ago

Dude, this was posted over 4 years ago. O.O Has it been that long? Daaaang....

# quote

E_net4 16 years ago

Shame of mine that I haven't read it completely. Maybe I should transfer the text to my calculator, for boring classes, I mean, when I can.

# quote

Idiota 16 years ago

"E_net4" said:
Shame of mine that I haven't read it completely. Maybe I should transfer the text to my calculator, for boring classes, I mean, when I can.

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

: )

# quote

E_net4 16 years ago

"Idiota" said:
GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK
: )

Lolwut, Idiota? XD

# quote

Idiota 16 years ago

I just couldn't resist

Back on topic tho >.>

# quote

Notrium Fanfic

Post Reply